Judy Parzen, 1933-2025, reflections and gratitude.

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Above: my mom picking me up from preschool circa 1972, not long after our family moved to San Diego from Chicago.

Losing a parent is like having a child: it’s an experience that you can’t really get your mind around until you actually go through it.

When we headed to California last week for a family visit, we all knew that my mother, Judy Parzen, was going to die soon. But nothing can prepare a soul for what comes next.

Thank you to everyone who has written, called, sent flowers, and shared condolences and memories of my mom.

One of the most moving came from a friend, a musician, whom I’ve known since high school: “Your mom was a great influence on our friend group and the La Jolla community. I remember practicing at your house with her there as a kid. Raising kids as a single mom took a special kind of person in La Jolla and I know it wasn’t always easy. She did it with grace and class and raised you guys to be leaders and intellectuals. What a special woman.”

Since her passing, so many people have written to me about how her love for the arts was inspiration for their own lives.

She had that effect on me, too. Her love of cookery inspired my own interest in gastronomy; her interest in the fine arts was a model for my academic career (when she brought Sir Roy Strong to U.C.S.D. for a lecture, he was the one who said to a 17-year-old, “you must go to Italy, young man!”); and her passion for the performing arts, theater and concerts, gave me grist for my own creative life.

She came to Italy to visit me every year I lived there. And when I lived in New York for a decade, she would come to the city and we dine out and go to the theater. Man, we had some great times!

I’m still reeling from our family’s loss. And I’m immensely grateful for all those who have reached out to share my grief. G-d bless her memory.

Judith Parzen, San Diego matriarch and arts advocate, dies at 92.

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Above: Judy Parzen visited Christo and Jeanne-Claude’s “Gates” in Central Park in 2005.

Judith Parzen, whose efforts to bring leading artists and architects to La Jolla, California, in the 1970s are fondly remembered today, has died at 92. She was also widely known and beloved as the matriarch of the Parzen family of San Diego.

She died peacefully at her home in La Jolla this week after battling a short illness. She was surrounded by her sons, their wives and children.

When Judith, known as Judy, and her husband purchased their first home in La Jolla’s Bird Rock neighborhood in 1971, she set about renovating the iconic property on Avenida Cresta. The Spanish-colonial ranch house had been designed by the legendary California builder Cliff May, whose fame as a pioneer of southwest architecture was just beginning to grow.

She was keen on maintaining the property’s connection to May (today, the historic home is included in the California registry of culturally significant sites). She also did something that would raise more than one eyebrow in the staunchly conservative La Jolla community of that era: she painted a broad, sea blue stripe around the front of the home that featured the address in silhouette.

Judy, who later became a board member of the La Jolla Museum of Contemporary Art and a supporter of the town’s arts center, the Atheneum, would go on to host numerous artist receptions in the couple’s home. She was also a member of a group of likeminded La Jollans who organized conferences where top architects from across the country were invited to speak.

By the 1980s, she was working as a programmer for U.C.S.D. Extension, the university’s community and continuing education school where she became known for bringing top intellectuals and celebrities to campus for speaking engagements. Sir Roy Strong, then director of the Victoria and Albert Museum, and Dustin Hoffman, were among the speakers she presented.

Judith Deborah Parzen was born in 1933, in South Bend, Indiana, to Henrietta “Jean” (née Eder) and Maurice Bailie. Her father was co-owner of a successful building maintenance company. Her mother was a homemaker.

A precocious student, she graduated from Central High in South Bend at 16 before leaving to study art history, first at the University of Colorado Boulder, and then at Indiana University Bloomington, where she obtained her degree. She also attended a special summer program at Yale — then open to men only — where she continued her studies.

In 1955, she married Zane Parzen in South Bend and the couple moved to Chicago where he was studying to become a doctor. All four of her sons were born there and she worked as a docent at the Art Institute of Chicago while raising her children in the city’s Hyde Park neighborhood.

In 1971, they moved to San Diego where Zane had been asked to lead a local doctors group. They divorced in 1980 following revelations about Zane’s malpractice. She never remarried.

Her oldest son Aaron died in a car accident in California at age 15. She is survived by her sons and their wives, Tad Parzen and Diane Sherman of San Diego, Micah Parzen and Marguerite Riles of San Diego, and Jeremy and Tracie Parzen of Houston; grandchildren Eli, Cole, and Amalia Parzen; Abner and Oscar Parzen; and Georgia and Lila Jane Parzen.

She was a lover of modern art, Broadway musicals, non-fiction, travel, cookery and fine dining. In myriad tributes shared in recent weeks, friends spoke of her humor, flair, and resilience as inspiration for their own lives and careers.

A celebration of life is being planned at a date to be determined.

FIEL co-founder Cesar Espinosa featured in Houston Chronicle. Please consider supporting FIEL by donating or volunteering.

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Please check out this week’s Houston Chronicle feature story on Cesar Espinosa, co-founder of FIEL, an immigrant-led organization that provides legal service and advocates for immigrants in greater Houston.

(Disclosure: I’ve been working for the last six months as a pro bono media consultant for the group.)

I can’t share the entire article here, but here’s a snippet:

    FIEL’s impact is measured not just in legal victories but in human stories. Stories like that of a father deported under one administration, reunited with his family after years of legal struggle. Or the mother who once served Espinosa dinner at a gala, quietly telling him that thanks to FIEL, her son had just graduated from Harvard. He said he still thinks about the young student who approached him after a workshop and said, “Because of you, I finally believe I belong here.” These victories, he said, are what sustain him through the long nights and heavy sacrifices.

Click here to continue reading.

The story of how Cesar, his siblings, and mother faced the challenges of being “undocumented” in this country is as compelling as it is inspiring.

When you read how Cesar and his family began working to help and protect immigrants, I’m sure you’ll agree with me that they are genuine super heroes for our time.

Please consider donating to FIEL or volunteering: FIEL needs people to challenge ICE agents at the asylum court; it needs bodies to show up at protests, rallies, and to populate information fairs. Just following and sharing their media on your own channels helps.

Check donation links and volunteer opportunities on their site.

And stay tuned: FIEL is planning a wonderful event for November 1. I’ll be sharing details here as soon as I have them.

Have a great weekend “on purpose,” as my good friend Annette Purnell likes to say.

France to prohibit nearly all types of copper-based fungicide. Organic growers will be left with few options to combat downy mildew.

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As the wine industry continues to face crises on both sides of the Atlantic, few trade observers may have noticed the big news to arrive from Île-de-France last week: France, the second-largest producer of wine in Europe plans to prohibit nearly all copper-based fungicides.

The best reporting I’ve found so far is this post by Vitisphere (French). See also this English-language report on Drinks Business.

Since the mid-19th century, copper has been used as a preemptive protection against peronospora, a type of downy mildew that widely impacts grape growing in areas with abundant humidity. Copper spray is allowed in organic certification. As climatic patterns have changed in the last 30 years, organic growers have increasingly relied on copper sprays (and sulfur sprays, also allowed) to protect their vines.

As a result, the amount of copper in the water table in certain areas has threatened cattle farmers who depend on natural grasses for feeding their cows and pigs. In some cases, local communities’ drinking water has been compromised.

In 2018, the EU adopted strict regulation of copper and severely limited the amount that could be used over the course of the following seven years. Those restrictions are now up for review, although the EU has yet to reveal what the new policy will be.

France has now taken the lead by banning such products, which can be highly toxic for humans and cattle.

The majority of growers relying on copper is located in the south of France and the north of Italy. As rainfall in those areas becomes more and more concentrated and violent, copper — the “organic” fungicide — has become a sine qua non of organic farming.

The new ban could represent an existential threat for organic growers in certain parts of Europe. Italians are watching their counterparts on the other side of the Alps anxiously.

Shanah tovah! Parzen family New Year letter.

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Happy new year, everyone! Shanah tovah! May your year ahead be filled with light, health, and joy!

Georgia, now 13 and in 8th grade, is finishing her last year of middle school where she plays viola in the varsity orchestra. She auditioned and was accepted into Houston Youth Symphony this year. She’s also playing electric bass. Every time I drop her off at rehearsal and every time she asks me if she can play bass for 10 minutes before bed, I weep a little: when I think of what my life was like at 13, it feels like Georgia has finally made me whole again.

Lila Jane, now 12 and in 7th grade, plays cello in the same orchestra. She, like her sister, will be auditioning for the state regional orchestra this year. Her playing is getting insanely good. It’s my dream come true — especially because I played cello as a child. She is a social butterfly, with an extended “friends group.” They meet every day, 8-10 girls, and walk to school together. She and her friends are starting to face the challenges of teenage life. Tracie and I are so proud of how she carries herself.

Tracie’s real estate career continues to grow. Poo, poo, poo — sometimes we look at each other and still can’t believe the way she has transformed our financial lives. She’s been working extremely hard and it hasn’t always been easy. But she also enjoys the high pressure and the reward of building her business. I’m studying to get my realtor license so I can help her more.

Every year, Tracie, the girls, and I take time out to enjoy apples and honey before the new year. It’s a Jewish tradition that reminds us of the sweetness of life — even in dark times.

The world seems to be changing at breakneck speed these days. We know we are fortunate to count so many blessings at home while so many others are struggling. Never have Dickens’ words hit home so powerfully: “It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness.”

Happy new year. G-d bless us all.

Kids open mic this Sunday at Emmit’s! Come rock out with my new blues band!

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Our family has known Bela Adela (above) and her son Laurenzo since kindergarten when our youngest Lila Jane and Laurenzo became schoolmates.

Whether at school concerts or at the community pool, I’ve been bugging Bela about jamming with me for years. But she never took me seriously!

Then she started coming to our open mic at Emmit’s Place in our neighborhood. It was only a matter of time before she started sitting in. The last time, she and I were rocking out really hard and it was great. And after, she said, “Jeremy, I never realized! You’re actually pretty good!”

It was only natural: she and I immediately had an immense groove on stage. And her son, who is super talented, also plays with the Rhythmix, the middle schooler band that almost always performs at our shows.

On Sunday, Bela and the Bangers, with Bela on bass and lead vocals and me on Telecaster, will be headlining the monthly Emmit’s Kid-Friendly Open Mic.

No cover, doors at 1 p.m. Please come on down! There will be complete backline, mocktails for kids, grownup beverages for adults, and family-friendly food.

And if that’s not enough to get you off your butt and out on the dance floor, the incredible Evelyn Rubio will be sitting in with the Bangers on sax. She’s AMAZING!

And here’s the thing: the owner of Emmit’s Place, Susan, not only just lost her beloved husband, but she is also struggling to keep her club open. These Sunday open mics have been part of what is keeping her afloat. Please come down to support local music, local musicians, and local businesses. Thank you!

Kid-Friendly Open Mic
Sunday, September 21
1-4pm
featuring Bela and the Bangers
and the Rhythmix
EMMIT’S PLACE
4852 Benning Dr. (@ South Post Oak)
NO COVER
FULL BACKLINE
mocktails for kids
hot comfort food

I love people who loved Charlie Kirk.

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Like many family households across America, ours has been home to conversations about the tragic killing of white Christian nationalist Charlie Kirk.

It doesn’t matter what religion or creed guides you. Children have been disturbed by the non-stop, all-consuming reporting on this horrific act.

As parents, it would be neglectful for us not to give our kids the resources they need at this fraught moment in our country’s history. We have been mindful in helping them to remember that Kirk was a father and husband. His family must be allowed to grieve his loss with dignity.

Like many Americans, I have been deeply offended by and steadfastly disagree with his advocacy for and vision of a white Christian hegemony in the U.S.

I also love people who love him.

They don’t love him because of racist statements he regularly made. They haven’t combed through myriad episodes of podcasts where he espoused ideology that most reasonable people would find egregiously offensive.

No, they loved him because he told them that it was okay to be white and Christian in this country. And guess what: it is okay to be white and Christian in this country, just like it is okay to be white and Atheist in this country, just like it’s okay to be white and Jewish.

I’m a white-eligible Jew who grew up and went to school on the west coast and built my career on the east coast. I am the apotheosis of what the right now calls the liberal elite. Nearly 16 years ago, I married into a white Christian family from southeast Texas who supports the current U.S. administration.

Over years of traveling from Texas to California, New York, and Europe, I’ve come to learn that people pigeonhole me as a white guy from southeast Texas. They assume and expect I hold certain attitudes and beliefs. Even my nuclear family derides me for being from Texas. It’s been an unfortunate but eye-opening experience.

I understand why people I love love Kirk. Not because he was a racist, although he was. Even he conceded that his advocacy was racist. But he also created a space where white Christian people felt welcomed. I, for one, believe we should give them space to grieve their loss with dignity.

I have a new job! And I need your help…

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I’m excited to share the news: I have a new job!

For the last six months, I’ve been quietly working as a media consultant for FIEL Houston, an immigrant-led group that advocates for immigrants in the greater Houston megalopolis.

Inspired by their mother Olivia, an immigrant herself, the Espinosa siblings founded FIEL in 2007 to aid people like them. The acronym stands for “Familias Inmigrantes y Estudiantes en la Lucha” (“Immigrant Families and Students in the Fight”). The word fiel means faithful in Spanish.

Read their story here.

After the current administration took office earlier this year, Tracie and I decided that we needed to do something more — much more — to help those who are oppressed by U.S. policies. Block walking and protesting wasn’t enough, we gauged. We needed to do something that had a direct impact on the most vulnerable among us. I had been following FIEL for a while and so I reached out to them to start talking about how I could help out (my work is all pro bono, for the record).

Whenever I meet with the team at the office, I feel like I am hanging out with superheroes!

FIEL does a number of things to help the immigrant community in Texas:

    – low-cost legal services for immigrants
    – educational resources for immigrants
    – advocacy for those arrested by ICE
    – awareness campaigns regarding immigrants’ rights
    – awareness campaigns regarding legal scams that prey on immigrants

There’s so much more that they do. I hope you will join us to learn more.

When the Espinosa family and their team get to work every day, they face life-and-death challenges. The work they are doing is vital to the immigrant community here.

In coming months, I will be sharing stories — some heartbreakingly tragic, some miraculously joyous — of FIEL’s work.

In the meantime, please help us by signing up for the FIEL newsletter, volunteering (FIEL needs bodies!), and donating. FIEL is suffering financially right now (more on that later) and every penny they receive helps the vulnerable among us.

Thanks for your support and solidarity. And even if you can’t donate, please help spread the word! Stay tuned…

Why does someone write a book about Italian wine? A wine blogger has the answer.

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When Gertrude Stein published The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas in 1933, she wasn’t just sharing a portrait of her and her partner’s life with readers. One of the great critical theorists of the 20th century, Stein also presaged a concept that would become central to the deconstruction movement: no matter what story you are telling, you are telling your own story. The rub is in the title itself: Alice B. Toklas didn’t write the “autobiography.” Stein did.

To compose a monograph on Italian wine today is a herculean task. Giants have come before the would-be Italianist: Nicolas Belfrage (Life beyond Lambrusco, 1985; Brunello to Zibibbo, 2003); Burton Anderson (Vino, 1992); and Sheldon and Pauline Wasserman (Italy’s Noble Red Wines, 1991) — just to mention a few.

As scholarly and finely tuned as those books may have been, we must still read them with Stein in mind: the authors are recounting their own personal experiences and impressions of Italian wine. By telling the story of Italian wine, they are telling their own story. This can be said of nearly all wine writing, save for the most technical (like a lab analysis).

Kevin Day’s newly released, self-published love letter to Italian wine, Opening a Bottle: Italy (2025), is no compendium of Italian wine. The after-thought, scant sections devoted to important wine regions like Puglia and Emilia-Romagna disqualify the book from that Pantheon.

The author’s focus, like much of Italian wine enthusiasm today, is centered on Piedmont and Etna. And his “top 100” omits some of Italy’s most iconic wines.

But in my view, that’s the point: this beautifully photographed and meticulously scribed book offers a window into an Italian wine blogger’s journey as he reminds us of what makes Italian wine truly magical. Kevin doesn’t prescribe the Italian wines that we should be drinking. Instead, he tells us what he’s been drinking, inviting us to join him.

Kevin’s blog and book stand apart among on Italian wine scene today because of the authenticity of his curiosity. His agenda? To share his experience and hopefully inspire and thrill us along the way. He’s not gaming for access or preening for self-affirmation. He’s just digging Italian wine and that’s good enough for me. Check out his book and blog here.

Cork now tariff exempt. Cotarella publishes his 10-point plan to “save Italian wine.”

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“Cork won a rare Trump tariff exemption thanks to lobbying on both sides of the Atlantic,” AP reported last week. “As of Sept. 1, cork joined a handful of other items, including airplanes and generic pharmaceuticals, that are exempt from a 15% U.S. tariff on most EU products.”

It makes sense in the context of U.S. policy: our country doesn’t produce cork but the domestic wine industry needs cork to align with industry standards for fine-wine packaging.

But the news offered scant relief to E.U. growers who had come to rely on a thirsty American market. Tariffs are here to stay.

Two days ago, enologist Riccardo Cotarella, a leading industry figure, published his “10-point” plan to “save [Italian] wine.”

Chief on his list is his recommendation to reduce the excessive amount of wine produced in Italy today. He also argues for more rigorous technical standards for new winery owners: make sure investors with little experience in the industry have the proper resources to launch profitable companies.

The much-talked-about piece is a reflection of the current crisis: wine consumption is globally down and wine has new competitors like alcohol-free and wellness beverages. Tariffs are the third component in this Jungerian perfect storm.

Few industry observers doubt that we are witnessing an epochal shift.

The good news for Italian growers is that government subsidies are now being activated and wineries are increasingly looking to markets beyond North America.

In my own personal experience, I’ve seen a number of Italian winemakers who have simply decided to move on from America. Beyond their sense of betrayal by a market who adored their wines for decades, many of them are also dismayed by American foreign policy with regard to the wars in Ukraine and the Middle East.

Can you blame them?

Photo snapped at Vinya in Key Biscayne, Florida, one of my favorite shops in the country.