What kind of person just stands by and says nothing as someone in their presence makes overtly racist comments in casual or professional conversation?

If you need me to answer that question, I suggest you do some serious soul-searching.

I’ve recently been forced into a regrettable business deal with two persons I can’t mention here.

The leader of the group was tasked with hiring an agent to procure the sale of a highly valuable asset.

Party 1 and party 2 met an agent without me. In his recap of the meeting, party 1 neglected to tell me that the agent had made vile comments about Muslims during the encounter.

In a separate meeting with party 2, they informed me about the conversation. They, like party 1, chose not to say anything to the offender.

When I learned of the offensive language, I confronted party 1 with this info.

Their answer? The agent just happened to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Stop being the “word police”! The agent just happens to talk like that. Hell, even I talk like that!, they said.

That doesn’t fly at our house, I’m sorry to inform them.

Here’s what we teach our children.

When someone makes a racist comment, the first thing you do is make sure that you are safe (get out right away if you fear violence).

Once you’re sure you’re safe, tell that person that such language is not acceptable in your presence and ask them politely to refrain from making such comments.

How can we call ourselves friends of Muslims — friends of anyone! — if we don’t defend them when they are not in the room?

Racism in any context is wrong and must be called out. That’s the rule in this Parzen household.

It takes some people longer than others to understand how dangerous and harmful comments like that can be. They may need some grace to get there. But if they don’t, they are no friends of ours.

When you hear someone say something racist, say something!